That's what it's called, right? When you can't see your horse as anything but perfect? I'm trying to decide if I have that. I don't think I do, I mean, I don't think Sophie is perfect by any means, but sometimes my feelings get really hurt when at the barn. Like today. Today was Sophie's big lesson with Kim. Our last lesson went so well I thought that it'd be even better to have Kim ride Sophie for a lesson period so that I could watch and actually *see* what she was telling me to do.
Well, it was a disaster.
A complete and utter disaster. At some points I wanted to cry.
It started out ok, walking around and working on paying attention and focusing. They did lots of walking and giving and getting a better walk. Then they started trotting, and Sophie started flipping her head. Constantly. Flipping her head and trotting with her nose way high in the air. I don't know if Kim was just asking for more than I do or what, but Sophie was like a different horse. She's never been that bad for me, other than that very first lesson when she was in heat and not happy being in the indoor. She was flipping her head and hopping on her hind feet a little. It was awful. I'm still not sure what went wrong.
They did have a few good moments, but overall we had a nicer ride in my last lesson as far as doing nice circles. We leg yielded nicely then as well and worked on turns across the diagonal. Today they did circles and a little baby shoulder in. I was impressed with how well she did the baby shoulder in, but part of the problem was trying it to the right. To the left it was awesome, to the right it was harder, and she got frustrated and then another fight followed. Ugh.
And then listening to the lecture for 10 minutes after about how horrible Sophie is and how bad her attitude is and how mean she is and evil. How she's awful on the ground and is willing to do anything possible to get out of work. The only problem is, I don't have those problems with her. On the ground she has never tried to run me over or paw at me or been otherwise bad. Under saddle she has had a couple of bad moments where she would flip her head up fast, but I would sit deep, drive her forward with my legs and seat and then she'd be fine. It wouldn't be constant like it was today. It was hard to listen to, because on one hand, she was being bad today, I'm not sure why, but she was. But she isn't like that with me, but what can I say? So I mainly listened since there wasn't anything else I could do.
Ugh. Poor Sophie was sooooo sweaty and bewildered by the end of the ride. Kim wasn't mean or anything, never jerked on her or smacked her out of anger or anything like that. But she was very hard on Sophie as far as expectations and results and I just think it was a little too much for Sophie. It will be interesting to see how she is tomorrow. I hosed her off and rubbed liniment on her neck, she seemed content by the time I was done with her. I felt so torn. I've never felt so torn. I wish I knew what had happened.
And another thing that was mentioned that I thought was odd was that Kim said that once Sophie was "finished" she would be very soft mouthed and light to the hand and that it would make her harder to sell. Not that I have any intention of selling her, but I just thought it was odd that being responsive would make a horse *harder* to sell, you'd think it'd be the opposite! At least I would. I guess another part of what bothered me about today was that I pointed out that Sophie doesn't act that bad with me and Kim said that she has stronger legs/seat and I couldn't help but wonder, why she would ride Sophie like she would ride one of her horses and expect her to react the same. Maybe I'm just off base, but I would think it'd be best to ride the horse in a way that gets the reaction you want, not ride the horse with the aids you think it should take and then make her give the reaction you want. But I don't know, I've only been taking lessons regularly for four months last year and then a handful this year. Maybe I'm just too nice. I do know that I could never be a horse trainer based on today's experience. Ugh, that's all I can really say.
10 comments:
I just found your blog recently, and your mare is so cute! There were a couple things I noticed from your post - your trainer is badmouthing your horse, and she is talking about selling her. I have heard a lot of stories about trainers convincing clients their horse needs to be sold, and that is a big red flag to me, even ignoring the strange part about responsive horses being harder to sell (?!?). Also, horses know perfectly well when someone doesn't like them/expects them to be bad/gets on them already mad. It is really not good for horses to feel that. I think your instincts are correct that you Sophie is not "being bad." I think there are some issues with your trainer. Even the best tempered horse in the world will look and behave "badly" when someone is interfering with their balance, causing pain, confusing them, or being harsh.
Maybe you could just ride Sophie and have your trainer help from the ground? Just my 2 cents from someone who is not taking lessons right now...
Thanks so much for the comment! I'm definitely planning on all lessons being *me* on Sophie. I just thought that it'd be faster progress if my instructor rode because she made a great break through with my gelding that has since been retired.
I don't think Sophie likes being led with two or three other horses and that's why I don't have problems with her on the ground, that's just my hypothosis though. (Going in and out for turnout they lead a couple of horses at a time).
We made great progress in our last lesson with me riding, so we'll probably just stick to that and I'll try hard to keep her ready for each new lesson so that we can handle what my instructor throws at us!
Yeah, trainers are human and they jump to conclusions/form opinions without basis sometimes. Most trainers would rather see a client on an easy horse than working with them to ride a challenging horse well. Your success reflects on her and I bet she'd rather you have a ringer!
Her words (as you describe them) sound a little goofy. You're right on about the soft mouthed comment. It sounds uneducated. Could she have been tired or annoyed about something that day? She's entitled to an occasional bad day(just like your mare!) but she should zip her lip when it comes to negativity. The best trainers I have had don't dwell on a horse's flaws -- they move right to "what are we going to do about it." I like your blog!
well, i don't want to stir up a conflict between you and your trainer, but you have every right to be upset about the ride your horse received and the comments your trainer made. i agree with 'original' - a horse does not behave that way without a legitimate provocation - usually from the rider. and it sounds like the trainer went into the ride with a bias against the horse and a negative attitude. a good trainer can work through a problem without exacerbating the situation or upsetting the horse - you don't end resistance by first creating more resistance. i especially don't understand the comment about her legs and seat being stronger - what has that got to do with anything? can't she use them more lightly if she chooses, or does she only have one setting on the dial? that's a bit like shouting at someone who doesn't speak your language - it doesn't make them understand any better - it's just rude. a horse should be trained to respond to minimal aids, and riding an already responsive horse into resistence with overly strong aids deadens their effect - that's the opposite of training. sorry, a bit of a rant there, but i've been in that position of watching someone else ride my horse in a way i didn't appreciate, and it's never easy to take...
Not to sound like I am copping out, but I agree with what everyone else says! From everything we have seen so far, Sophie is trying very hard to please YOU...not your trainer.
Maybe ask her to further explain some of her comments about Sophie to you. Don't you hate how you can be standing there, listening to someone say awful things, and realize later that you could have been questioning her as she was commenting? I always do that :)
Well...good luck with your lesson tomorrow, and I am sure that Sophie will be happy to have you back again.
In my opinion, a trainer should be professional enough to behave as a professional. She is not being paid to bash your horse, she's being paid to further your horse's education. And even if she was having a bad day, she should be able to separate that and give your horse a good ride. I absolutely agree with jme, one setting is not good enough to ride multiple horses. I was lucky to get out of a negative situation with my old instructor. It's hard to consider finding a new trainer, but is this normal behavior? If she puts Sophie down regularly, I would think twice about staying with her. If this was a one time thing, hopefully you can look at it as a bad day and move on in a positive way. Good luck!
Thanks so much for the comments you guys. I really don't want to be delusional and thinking that my horse is great when she isn't, but, I don't think she's as bad as they think she is. While I wouldn't mind if my instructor was a bit more classical and liked Sophie better I think it's in our best interest to stay. I think I can balance the differences in our training philosophies in lessons and the care that Sophie receives there is phenomenal. I looked at almost 20 boarding stables before I moved here and this one has the largest indoor, has full care (most require you to provide your own hay/grain), do turn out for half the day (most only allow it during the day and you have to lead the horse to the pasture and stay there with it while it's out).
Plus, like I said, my instructor knows a lot and has great ideas for training exercises so that if one way doesn't work we can try a different way (like learning travers with Jessie, trying it coming off a 10 meter circle didn't work at all, but doing shoulder in and then switching to travers worked like a charm). I like my instructor as a person, and her daughter, and would love to keep in touch with them over the years if we move to Florida.
Additionally, she'll only be here for another 3 or 4 months, then she'll be in Florida so I'll be on my own for the winter. I want to get to a good place before winter so that when we are on our own we won't run into any problems like what my instructor had yesterday. I don't think it'll happen, but I don't want to be too naive and unprepared just in case it does.
I agree with others, this does sound very weird... But I don't want to jump to conclusions without knowing your trainer. I really don't like the idea of her bashing your horse though. I can't imagine how frustrating this must feel for you... I'm sorry this happened. Make sure to keep us posted on what happens and how Sophie does the next time you ride.
Agreeing with everything said so far; caution flags flying all over the place about this trainer.
However, it is not so bad for a horse to be asked something difficult (not abusive, just a stretch). And it is not at all bad to see how the horse reacts when challenged - so you have some good learning experiences with this trainer. The dissing of your horse - tune that out. Many good horse trainers are tactless people with heads full of ideas about how a person could progress faster if they would just spend $35K on a nice young warmblood... and Florida in the winter makes this worse IME. There, the big money rolls like melted butter. Sophie will be OK and you can apply what you have learned to the winter training where you will be more tactful than the trainer, because when all is said, Nobody knows your horse as well as you do.
arrrgggg!! OK been there done that and not going back.
If you even have a tiny voice in the back of your head telling you its not right, then listen to it!!!
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