Beginning to Hate Winter...

Some of you may have noticed that my other blog is gone. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday (my first, at 11 weeks, insert eye roll here). The doctor started out by going over tests and procedures we could opt for, or out of. Then she did an ultrasound. The baby's heart wasn't beating. And it measured at 6 weeks, 3 days, not the almost 9 weeks it should have been measuring. I had another ultrasound with the real technician, not just the doctor, she found the same thing. She also looked at the blood flow in my uterus, and there was no blood flowing in the sac the baby was in.

I'll be having a D&C on Thursday. Craig and I, were, are, devastated. We thought that at 11 weeks I was far enough along that the risk was practically gone. We were shocked at what the ultrasound discovered.

Last winter I "lost" Jessie, due to his stifle injury. This winter I lost our baby.

It might seem odd that I'm still riding, but really, Craig and Sophie are the only things keeping me from losing it completely. Everything else in my life is going so right that it makes it easier to deal with this one major thing going wrong. I don't know what I'll do if it happens again though. I try to tell myself that at least I didn't find out in two weeks, when we would have had the nuchal scan and been in the second trimester. I just wish we'd known two weeks ago, I think it would have been a little easier to deal with.

But, that's why the other blog is gone.